Sunday, November 23, 2008

A letter to my cats

Dear cats.  I'm not sure if you read my blog, I doubt it.  But since you don't listen to me, I thought this was worth a try.  We need to clarify some rules and establish a code of conduct, so that all inhabitants of the little house by the blue lake may live peacefully.  If you have any comments or suggestions, please grow opposable thumbs and type them in the comment section. 
  1. All the animals should be friends, or at least tolerate each other.  iBite, no more assaulting Herman, seriously.
  2. Meals are served twice a day.  Period. Neither one of you can be trusted to free feed and both of you are on the chubby side.  Please note that increased meowing will not result in bonus food, so just quit it. 
  3. The dog is NOT a toy.  
  4. I am grateful for your litter box mastery, but please try to leave some of the litter in the box as you ferociously dig to cover the cat dung.  And a sub note to the dog here:  don't eat cat shit.  It's gross, I don't care how much protein is in there.
  5. My workout clothes are sacred.  Next cat caught sharpening claws on my technical fabrics is going for a swim.  
  6. My toes & feet are to be left alone.  Next cat to dart from underneath furniture and assault the toes might get stepped on.  Please focus attack instinct on the plethora of fake mice supplied.
That about covers it.  If you would consider living by those rules, that would be awesome. 
Thanks for reading.

4 comments:

atrusni said...

the cats I know do not speak English, so I do not know if they understand your blog.... Try Dutch, that may work

web.me.com/amaurydeleon

iBite said...

Screw you all.

Sincerely,
iBite

Kolbrun DeLux said...

ha..ha..ha... er Púki að púkast? Segðu honum að ég komi í heimsókn og þá ælir hann á sófann í stofunni, allavega gerði hann það síðast.

Frayed Laces said...

Hahaha that is great. Be careful though. I hear they are quickly evolving opposable thumbs